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2019, Week 1: Nailed It!

As we begin this first full week of the new year, I’m happy to report that so far I’ve met my weekly goals!  Okay, so we’re only one week in, but I’m still calling it a win!  Let me explain why that matters . . .

We all know that many times people make resolutions that don’t stick, in part because they’re unrealistic to start with.  But what about those goals we make that really should be attainable, and we really want to meet them, but somehow we get a month or two into the year and find that we’ve lost motivation or we feel we’re too far off the mark already to be successful?

Here’s why I’m excited to have met my weekly goals; they are designed to move me toward successfully meeting my goals for the year!  If I break down my yearly goals into smaller parts, I can be consistently moving in the right direction, staying on target and seeing that target get closer and closer – which is inspiring and motivating!

Visualize your goal.  Really set it in your mind.  Then work backward.  In order to meet your goal, where will you need to be in September? June? March?  Then break those quarters down into months.  What action can you be taking by the end of each month to move you closer to your goal?  Then break the months into weekly, consistent habits that help you stay motivated.  These weekly goals should set me up for success, so that I feel motivated and excited, because I’m seeing progress.

An example: If I want to read 12 books by the end of the year, I will plan to read a book every month. Since I don’t want to get to the end of the month and be only 10 pages into my 200-page book, I’ll set a weekly goal of reading one fourth of the book, and then a daily goal of a certain number of pages. I may find it helpful to spend 30 minutes or less per day on social media (which happens to check off another goal on my list for 2019) so I have more time available for reading. Important note: I am actually doing this, and while it may sound rigid, it’s the only realistic way for me to meet this particular goal (especially as a grad student who already reads volumes!). That said, I give myself Saturdays as a “catch up day” because, you know, life sometimes gets in the way. Remember, the goal is to set ourselves up for success!

Evaluate the goal.  Check in at the end of each week to see how you did that week.  The same with each month, and then the quarters.  Pay attention to those weekly goals, though!  They set the direction and enable you to make minor tweaks before you’re too far off course.  What’s working? What isn’t? What do you need to do more of/less of to get those weekly goals back in focus?

Have some accountability.  This is a good idea, even if you don’t need prodding.  Accountability partners are those folks we have to confess to when we’re not doing what we want to be doing to reach our goals.  But guess what?  They’re also those people who we get to celebrate with when we do well!  Okay, we’re not supposed to be boastful, but hey – we all like to tell someone about our victories, and that’s the happier side of having an accountability partner!

Be kind to yourself. So, you slipped. It happens! Recognize it, then remind yourself why the goal was important enough to make in the first place. Refocus, dust yourself off, square your shoulders, and . . . begin again! Don’t waste precious time beating yourself up. It just gets you further behind, and puts you in a negative mindset to begin again or, worse, give up on something that matters to you. We all have days and weeks that are less than what we’d hoped they’d be. Accept it and move on! (As you’ll see below, I actually budget my time to allow for those “off” days.)

Reward yourself for meeting your goals.  Use a gold star, smiley face or checklist – something you can see, something you can look back at and note your success when things get a little tricky along the way.  This helps thwart discouragement before it really takes hold.

Your turn! Have you set a goal/goals for 2019? What are you planning to do through the year to move yourself toward the goal(s) you’ve set?  I’d love to hear about it!

Help is available. If you find goal-setting (or, more specifically, goal-achieving) to be daunting and want a little coaching to get you on the right track, contact me at AngelaGlickLifeCoach@gmail.com and let me help you set yourself up for success!

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Monday Moment for New Year’s Day (a few days late)

It is fitting that this post would be late, given it’s content, unrealistic expectations.  However, the reason for its tardiness is that my laptop crashed (yes, my less than 5-month-old laptop’s hard drive mangled itself with all my info on it, *sigh*), and try as I might, I couldn’t locate this file on January 1.  Anyhoo, I found it today and I think it’s still worth sharing…

If you know me you know that I don’t do new year’s resolutions.  I long ago resolved to be the best version of myself that I’m capable of being every day.  Some days I shine like … something really, really shiny … and some days I suck the light right out of my space.  But every day I try to be the best I can, to give every day all I have to give.  And every day I go to the well (yes, the one for which this blog is named) and I refill.  The well of living water.  I live at that well.  I can’t live apart from that well.  If I stray from that well I quickly sink into the quicksand of despair, become toxic to myself and those around me, and claw my way back to the well as quickly as possible.

I set difficult, sometimes unrealistic goals for myself during the year, and I modify them as needed.  I long ago decided to stop setting unattainable goals for myself on January 1 that would leave me feeling inadequate, inept, unworthy and often fat, ugly and stupid.  People battle this type of thinking all year long – why set ourselves up on the first day of a brand spanking new year to flop horribly in, statistically speaking, approximately three weeks?!

No, you won’t find me declaring at 12:01 on January 1, 2018 that I resolve to lose 10, 20, 30, or 50 pounds in the coming 12 months.  If it was that easy I wouldn’t need to declare such a thing.  I would simply do it.  Nor will you find me vowing to stop drinking, or eating sugar, or swearing on January 1.  Instead, I try daily to learn more self-control with the help of the Lord (because without his help … well … you wouldn’t like me much and neither would I).

I openly decry the notion of new year’s resolutions, without shame or reservation.  Because we beat ourselves up plenty 365 days every year; I think it’s a horrible idea to choose one day each year when we vow to achieve unrealistic goals and then bludgeon ourselves emotionally when we, predictably, cannot or do not achieve them.

I’d rather see us all make a commitment to ourselves and to God every day that we will strive to be present, that we will strive to be kind to ourselves and others, and that we will do our best that day to be more Christlike and to stretch ourselves to live fuller, richer lives that further the kingdom of God every day of every year, and then take positive steps to grow in those areas.  We all have room for improvement and we can all take measurable steps to move into that improvement.  One day at a time.  Realistically.

That said, I have a delightful habit of keeping a monthly journal of major events and accomplishments and then reviewing them on December 31/January 1.  It’s such a joy to see what I’ve accomplished, overcome, and celebrated throughout the year, with God’s good grace!  I encourage everyone to spend their time reviewing the past year in a positive light instead of setting themselves up for disappointment and self-recrimination in the next!

May you have a fulfilling, joyful, blessed and peaceful 2018!

Shalom,

Angela