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You are not a wimp.

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Have you ever found yourself in a season of life when it feels like the universe has just crapped in your Cheerios?  I sure have.  I have been known to rail at the powers that be – God, the universe, my cat – because life just wasn’t turning out the way I wanted it to.

Then I grew up a bit.

I realized that wherever I find myself in life, I am the one who put me there. 

Okay, we can get into a lengthy and ultimately unresolved debate about predestination vs. foreknowledge of God and free will, but this isn’t that post.

Also, let’s go ahead and get past the obvious: life throws us curve balls.  Someone we love dies, we fall ill through no direct action of our own, the cat swipes the Lego off the table onto the floor right before we put our foot down . . . sometimes things do just happen without our consent.  Those are not the situations I’m talking about.

So what am I talking about?  I’m talking about when my pants don’t fit “like they used to.”  When I’m broke.  When I feel like someone is sucking the energy out of me every time I find myself within the sound of their voice.  Or when I hate my job – and have for the last six years.

Can we all just take a moment and stop blaming everyone and everything except ourselves and take ownership?  TRUST ME, THIS HAS A HUGE “UP” SIDE!

You may be thinking I’m just being mean, but I promise I’m not.  As always, I have your (and my) best interests at heart!  So, how does that look?

Once we reckon with the fact that we are where we are in life due to a series of our own choices, we recognize that we are empowered to make better choices.

Are you suffering at your job because you’re late to work every day?  Your co-workers are bitter, your boss is annoyed, AND you feel stress and shame every time you walk in late?  Sunshine, you need to suck it up and get out of bed earlier.  It’s a choice.

Are you annoyed with that one friend who always marginalizes her time with you and reschedules 5 out of every 6 times you try to meet up with her?  To borrow one of my favorite lines form Eat, Pray, Love, wish her love and light – and then let her go.  It’s a choice.  (And if you struggle with healthy boundaries, let’s talk!  Seriously.  Contact me.)

Are you so so so so tired of being 8 pounds overweight – and you don’t have a legitimate medical issue, but you just plowed through half a box of Krispy Kreme donut holes?  Sweetheart, math is math.  Stop taking in more calories than you burn – this one is NOT Krispy Kreme’s fault.  I know, the force is strong with Krispy Kreme, y’all, but y’all got this!  It’s a choice.

If you hate the work you do, and every time you bring it up your friends scatter like cockroaches when the lights come on because you’ve been griping about work for the last three years . . . or 6 . . . or 26, it may be time to dust off your resume and go find something else.  Or maybe it’s time to take a step in a new direction by taking a class or two.  Stop making excuses – if you watch more than 30 minutes of television a day you won’t have to give up much here.  (And if you need help managing your time, I’m here for you – contact me!).  Ask your friends what you’re good at besides griping about your job; trust me, they’ll be more than happy to help if it means they get to enjoy your sunny smile again!  It’s a choice.

One I hear often is that folks want to have a better spiritual life, but they’re just too busy.  Honey, you can’t build a meaningful relationship with anyone, let alone the Creator of the universe, if you only make time for drive-through relationships.  Come on in and sit a spell.  Be with Him and He will be with you.  There won’t be fireworks every time, but that’s true in any relationship.  If you spend less time on Facebook or watching television or playing games on your phone, you can probably squeeze out an extra half hour a day for your spiritual life.  At the risk of offending you, the fact is that we make time for what we truly care about.  Ouch!  But it’s true.  And, yes.  It’s a choice.

Detecting a pattern here?

Life isn’t happening to you without your consent.  You are not some wimp being beat up by everything and everyone in your life.  You are not a doormat (unless you choose to be).  You weren’t created that way!

Doesn’t it feel good, though, to know that you can make choices that change how you feel about your life?  Learn to say, “no” to the things that don’t move you in the direction of where you want to be in six months, a year, three years . . . and say “yes” to making time and space for the things that do!

Go ahead.  Start with one good choice today and then look back on it tomorrow and again in a week and see if you don’t feel better!  And feel free to share with me your victories, big and small, related to changing your life in healthy ways!

If you need help with time management, motivation or developing your spiritual life, please feel free to contact me!

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Let’s Talk Herb(s)!

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Stress Management: Tool #2 – Herbal Aids

Before delving into the discussion and research concerning herbal aids for stress management, it is necessary to issue a word of caution: It is very important for you to check with your doctor and/or pharmacist to ensure there are no interactions between any herbs you are considering taking and any medical conditions you have and/or medications you take.  THIS BLOG POST IS INTENDED TO RELAY RESEARCH RESULTS AND IS NOT AN ATTEMPT TO GIVE MEDICAL ADVICE.

Research has found that herbal aids, when used responsibly, often help people manage stress and the symptoms of stress.  Recently, a study conducted in Europe using self-reported ratings on the PSS-10 scale (Perceived Stress Scale-10) concluded that “the short-term use of herbal remedies seems … effective in reducing perceived stress” (Gasparini, et al., 2016, p. 465).  The study revealed approximately a 50% decrease in perceived stress after consuming certain herbal aids, including hops, valerian and melissa.

Depression.  Studies show a correlation between stress and depression (Clinton and Langberg 2011); therefore, considering herbal aids used to relieve depression may serve to aid in stress reduction.  Depression is often a response to, or effect of, both acute and prolonged stress.  A 2008 Harvard study reported that persons suffering with mild depression found the use of various herbal supplements to be beneficial in helping to relieve their depression (Herbal and Dietary Supplements for Depression, 2008).  The findings of the study include benefit from folic acid, which helps the brain to produce serotonin, which can improve mood, and in many patients, stimulated their response to their prescribed antidepressant medication.  The study reported that similar benefits were produced through supplementation with SAMe (S-adenosyl-L-methionine). As with folic acid, SAMe is reported to help the brain produce neurotransmitters such as dopamine, serotonin and norepinephrine, and can bring the brain’s levels of these neurotransmitters to a normal level in patients with a deficiency thereof (Herbal and Dietary Supplements for Depression, 2008).  This report stated that “eight studies compared SAMe to a tricyclic antidepressant; six concluded that SAMe was equivalent to the drug (p. 4).”  Herbal and Dietary Supplements for Depression (2008) reported that St. John’s Wort and Omega-3 fatty acids also have been found beneficial in helping to minimize depression in patients.

Anxiety.  Similarly, Lakhan and Vieria (2010) state that in other research passionflower, kava, St. John’s wort, lysine and magnesium have been effective in the treatment of anxiety.  Clinton, et al. (2005) add that melatonin may be useful in aiding sleep, which may help break the cycle of sleeplessness leading to stress, and stress leading to sleeplessness.

Clearly, many studies have shown that, when used responsibly, herbal aids can often help diminish and control the perception and effects of stress.

Need more information on managing stress?  Contact Angela at AngelaGlickLifeCoach.com for one-on-one and group coaching for stress management.

References

Clinton, T., Hart, A. and Ohlschlager, G. (2005). Caring for people God’s way: Personal and emotional issues, addictions, grief and trauma.  Nashville, TN: Thomas Nelson, Inc.

Clinton, T., & Langberg, D. (2011). The quick-reference guide to counseling women: 40 topics, spiritual insights and easy-to-use action steps. Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Books.

Gasparini, M., Aurilia, C., Lubian, D., & Testa, M. (2016). Herbal remedies and the self-treatment of stress: An Italian survey. European Journal of Integrative Medicine, 8(4), 465-470.

Herbal and Dietary Supplements for Depression. (2008). Harvard Mental Health Letter, 25(4), 4-5.

Lakhan, S. E., & Vieira, K. F. (2010). Nutritional and herbal supplements for anxiety and anxiety-related disorders: systematic review. Nutrition Journal, 942-55. doi:10.1186/1475-2891-9-42McNealus, K. (2018, February).  Let’s talk about stress. Exceptional Parent Magazine, 16-19. Retrieved from https://link.galegroup.com/apps/doc/A530360703/HWRC?u=vic_liberty&sid=HWRC&xid=a6bef996