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Pamper Yourself!

Stress Management Tip #3 – Self-Care and Creativity

Self-care is a concept that is often dismissed by women, frequently because they feel guilty for devoting time to themselves instead of those around them.  Christian women in particular often consider self-care “wrong” or “bad.”  After all, the Bible makes a point of teaching that Christians are to be humble and put others first, right (e.g., Phil. 2:3)?  Well guess what . . . Scripture also teaches that our body is the temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Cor. 6:19) and that we are to take care of it (1 Cor. 3:17).  Proverbs 14:30 teaches that “a heart at peace gives life to the body,” and being so stressed out we can’t fit rest and self-care into our schedule is at odds with having a peaceful heart, wouldn’t you say?

If that’s not enough, the benefits of self-care are backed by science.  Research reveals that taking a “creative break” can be relaxing and rejuvenating.  A recent study demonstrated that participants of varying levels of experience, after engaging in artistic expression for only forty-five minutes, experienced a significant reduction in levels of the stress hormone cortisol (Kaimal, Ray & Muniz, 2016).  Another study found that artistic expression, including dance, writing, visual art (painting, crafting), and music, were beneficial to mental health.  The results of that study “indicated that creative engagement can decrease anxiety, stress, and mood disturbances” (emphasis mine) (Stuckey and Nobel, 2010, p. 261).  Thus, there is ample biblical and scientific support for embracing the discipline of self-care (yes, I called it a discipline!).

Dear one, if you’re earnestly trying to learn effective stress management techniques, you simply must get comfortable with the idea of taking care of YOU, and even – gasp! – pampering yourself!  Try making a list of the things you find relaxing and indulgent, but that don’t cause you to feel guilty afterward (i.e., eating a pint of full-fat ice cream in one sitting, after consuming half a pizza, is not recommended).  So what brave step will you take toward caring for yourself?  It can be simple, inexpensive, and doesn’t even have to take that much time.  Maybe give yourself a pedicure and paint your toes a wild color you love!  Or, or settle in with a favorite book for even half an hour.  Make a crafting date with yourself and get creative making something pretty!  You could sit quietly and listen to soothing music (or, provided you don’t have neighbors super close, turn up your favorite “happy song” and belt it out!), buy yourself some flowers, take a long walk in the woods, have a “home spa” night, take a hot soak . . . whatever it is, it will be unique to you and whatever you’re in the mood for.  Precious one, do this for yourself!

Need individual guidance on how to de-stress your life? Contact me for one-on-one stress management coaching in person, via phone, or on FaceTime!

References

Kaimal, G., Ray, K. & Muniz, J. (2016). Reduction of cortisol levels and participants’ responses following art making.  Art Therapy: Journal of the American Art Therapy Association33(2), 74-80. doi: 10.1080/07421656.2016.1166832

Stuckey, H. L., & Nobel, J. (2010). The connection between art, healing, and public health: A review of current literature. American Journal of Public Health100(2), 254–263. http://doi.org/10.2105/AJPH.2008.156497

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Victory or Regret: You Choose!

I’ve reached (or nearly reached) a few of milestones in my life recently, and it got me thinking about goals.  One of them is about my weight, but my weight is not really the point, so bear with me.

I eat pretty healthy foods, by and large, and I cleanse a couple of times a year.  But even healthy foods add up, and I hadn’t been very careful about how much I was eating.  And 1500 calories is 1500 calories, whether it’s ice cream or nuts.  “Good fat” is better than “bad fat,” but it’s still fat.  I had edged over the line into an “overweight” BMI and I wasn’t satisfied with that, for all the right reasons.  So, I set a goal of getting back into my healthy BMI.  I started counting calories again, said “no” to various treats – healthy and unhealthy, and I’ve reached my goal.

I spent a lot of years lamenting that I had not gotten my college degree.  So, I decided to go back to school, as a considerably older student.  I have struggled, and studied, and said “no” to a lot of activities that I would have really enjoyed participating in.  But I’m there.  In under four weeks, I will have earned my bachelor’s degree, inside of three and a half years.

I was lugging around anger resulting from unforgiveness, and it was causing some spiritual “clogging up” so that I wasn’t connecting with God the way I often do, and that most precious relationship was suffering, along with others.  I didn’t want that anymore.  An opportunity came up to rid myself of that unforgiveness, and I took it.  I had to let go of some beliefs that had become comfortable to me even though they were hurting me.  I had to make myself vulnerable.  I had to admit some hurtful truths.  And I had to forgive.  All of it.  Everyone.  Even myself.  But I did it.  It will be a work that will continue in my life, and I imagine there will be more in the immediate future, as God calls it to mind.  I pray that it becomes a habit to forgive immediately.  For now, I am at peace again, and the spiritual clog has been removed.

Here’s the point:  All of these goals were met only through painful sacrifice.  I had to give something up – food, time, unforgiveness, activities I enjoy, and more in order to reach these goals.  I fear that in our postmodern society many of us (myself included, at times) expect to get something for nothing.  We lament that we don’t have the body we want, the job we want, the freedom we crave, the relationships we desire, the mate we long for, the spiritual life we yearn for, and on and on it goes.  But we are not willing to set the goals, make the sacrifices and do the hard, hard work it takes to reach them.

I have suffered from this very poison myself.  The poison of lethargy.  The poison of entitlement.  Poison I mixed up and ingested all on my own, with no one else to blame.  And then I stopped.  I did a life detox.  I started hanging around motivated, strong women who inspire, encourage and support me.  I wanted “the thing” and so I did “the stuff.”

So can you.  Yes, it’s hard.  Yes, it’s work.  Yes, it requires sacrifice.  But sister (or brother), let me tell you, it is absolutely, undoubtedly, unquestionably worth it!

Give that regret you’re holding onto a name.  Find out what it takes to get rid of it.  Set a goal.  Get your mind right, get a healthy support system, and get rid of people who would rather keep you down so they feel better or so they have company in their own pool of regret.  And then do “the stuff.”

You’ll thank yourself when you get to the other side of that goal, and then you get to celebrate your victory and help encourage someone else to cross their finish line!