Have you ever found yourself in a season of life when it feels like the universe has just crapped in your Cheerios? I sure have. I have been known to rail at the powers that be – God, the universe, my cat – because life just wasn’t turning out the way I wanted it to.
Then I grew up a bit.
I realized that wherever I find myself in life, I am the one who put me there.
Okay, we can get into a lengthy and ultimately unresolved debate about predestination vs. foreknowledge of God and free will, but this isn’t that post.
Also, let’s go ahead and get past the obvious: life throws us curve balls. Someone we love dies, we fall ill through no direct action of our own, the cat swipes the Lego off the table onto the floor right before we put our foot down . . . sometimes things do just happen without our consent. Those are not the situations I’m talking about.
So what am I talking about? I’m talking about when my pants don’t fit “like they used to.” When I’m broke. When I feel like someone is sucking the energy out of me every time I find myself within the sound of their voice. Or when I hate my job – and have for the last six years.
Can we all just take a moment and stop blaming everyone and everything except ourselves and take ownership? TRUST ME, THIS HAS A HUGE “UP” SIDE!
You may be thinking I’m just being mean, but I promise I’m not. As always, I have your (and my) best interests at heart! So, how does that look?
Once we reckon with the fact that we are where we are in life due to a series of our own choices, we recognize that we are empowered to make better choices.
Are you suffering at your job because you’re late to work every day? Your co-workers are bitter, your boss is annoyed, AND you feel stress and shame every time you walk in late? Sunshine, you need to suck it up and get out of bed earlier. It’s a choice.
Are you annoyed with that one friend who always marginalizes her time with you and reschedules 5 out of every 6 times you try to meet up with her? To borrow one of my favorite lines form Eat, Pray, Love, wish her love and light – and then let her go. It’s a choice. (And if you struggle with healthy boundaries, let’s talk! Seriously. Contact me.)
Are you so so so so tired of being 8 pounds overweight – and you don’t have a legitimate medical issue, but you just plowed through half a box of Krispy Kreme donut holes? Sweetheart, math is math. Stop taking in more calories than you burn – this one is NOT Krispy Kreme’s fault. I know, the force is strong with Krispy Kreme, y’all, but y’all got this! It’s a choice.
If you hate the work you do, and every time you bring it up your friends scatter like cockroaches when the lights come on because you’ve been griping about work for the last three years . . . or 6 . . . or 26, it may be time to dust off your resume and go find something else. Or maybe it’s time to take a step in a new direction by taking a class or two. Stop making excuses – if you watch more than 30 minutes of television a day you won’t have to give up much here. (And if you need help managing your time, I’m here for you – contact me!). Ask your friends what you’re good at besides griping about your job; trust me, they’ll be more than happy to help if it means they get to enjoy your sunny smile again! It’s a choice.
One I hear often is that folks want to have a better spiritual life, but they’re just too busy. Honey, you can’t build a meaningful relationship with anyone, let alone the Creator of the universe, if you only make time for drive-through relationships. Come on in and sit a spell. Be with Him and He will be with you. There won’t be fireworks every time, but that’s true in any relationship. If you spend less time on Facebook or watching television or playing games on your phone, you can probably squeeze out an extra half hour a day for your spiritual life. At the risk of offending you, the fact is that we make time for what we truly care about. Ouch! But it’s true. And, yes. It’s a choice.
Detecting a pattern here?
Life isn’t happening to you without your consent. You are not some wimp being beat up by everything and everyone in your life. You are not a doormat (unless you choose to be). You weren’t created that way!
Doesn’t it feel good, though, to know that you can make choices that change how you feel about your life? Learn to say, “no” to the things that don’t move you in the direction of where you want to be in six months, a year, three years . . . and say “yes” to making time and space for the things that do!
Go ahead. Start with one good choice today and then look back on it tomorrow and again in a week and see if you don’t feel better! And feel free to share with me your victories, big and small, related to changing your life in healthy ways!
If you need help with time management, motivation or developing your spiritual life, please feel free to contact me!
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